Multiple Long-Term Relationships, Part 1: Being The Right Man

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When people find out I am juggling multiple long-term relationships, they inevitably ask me the same few questions. Do both of them know? Who is better? Won’t they get jealous? Where do you find the time or energy? To answer the first question, yes they both know about each other’s existence and are aware of the fact I am still going out regularly to game. I find that this is a topic that is rarely, if ever, approached due to the stigma behind it. Many skilled practitioners in the community, in fact, do juggle multiple relationships at once. I wouldn’t say I am on the level but I push myself to do be the best I can and learn as much from life. Many guys I know who come into the community want to get a girlfriend and settle down. Monogamy is not a bad thing, but it can be destructive. The lack of articles have been due to several reasons: school, drama, and other commitments. I don’t want to force myself to push out content that is just rehashed bullshit time and time again. And so I decided to take a breather and get more experience before sharing them with you.

In this article I want to address a fundamental problem that most guys have when it comes to how they view themselves, relationships, and in turn, how they treat women. My answer to “Who is better?” is simple.

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When Is A Shit Test Not A Shit Test?

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I’ve written several articles on handling shit tests/compliance tests and one of the most common questions that I get is “How can you tell whether it’s a shit test?”

The good thing is that most people are able to tell the difference. Shit tests are not limited to dealing with women only. Men test each others’ frame all the time. When men first meet, we size each other up to determine whether the person should be deferred to and whether to appropriate respect to him. If we judge that he is not a person worthy of respect we will assert our frame onto his reality, usually emerging as the “alpha male”. Women test men for almost the same reasons except that based on the results they will decide whether you are a sexworthy man or not (e.g., alpha protector or beta provider). Women-women dynamics are very different and so I won’t talk about it here.

So how can you tell when a shit test is a shit test?

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The Path To Success; Put In The Work And Get The Results

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It is normal that most people hold irrational self-delusions to help them function in life. I, myself, am not exempt from this fallacy. We think we are better-looking than average, smarter than average, more capable than average. We think we don’t need to put in as much effort as other unfortunate people in order to get ahead in life.

Of course in the face of harsh reality, our delusions are blown apart. But when it comes to survival, somehow this is rarely the case. I quoted jlaix before, “Every guy on the planet is convinced that he knows how to do two things: how to fight, and how to bang women.”

Evolutionarily speaking, this is a crucial belief to hold. Whether objectively true or not, if you don’t believe you are able to fight better or fuck better than the chump next to you, you and your genetic lineage is as good as dead.

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Not All Women / Men / Feminists / MRAs / Cats Are Like That

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Make a generalizable statement about any group or culture that has a negative tilt and you will most often hear the “not all _____ are like that!” defense. It is entirely within our nature to form groups, and redefine boundaries in order to associate with positive traits and disassociate from negative ones. We have a tendency to label things, to form categorizations and arrange things into neat little boxes for our brains to better process information. Too broad and labels are pointless, too specific and they become limiting.

The reality is, as arbitrary as labels are/appear to be, they are necessary in creating our identities and identifying with other people who hold similar traits. Humans are social creatures, and forming in-groups are how we, as a society, can function and prosper. However, the downside to that is that all groups have to constantly have to have enemies. There is no such thing as real peace. Our imaginary utopia where everything in homogeneous and agreeable is a fool’s goal.

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Shape Your Life With The Right People; 5 Characteristics To Look Out For

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“You are the product of the five closest people in your life.”

While I often quote this maxim, I believe it only reflects half of the truth. The truth is that we do also shape the people around us in significant ways. Every little thing that people say or do either reinforces or challenges our beliefs. Therefore it is important to be aware and understand what kind of life you want and how people can reinforce your positive beliefs and challenge your negative ones, forcing you to realign to improve your life.

Here are five characteristics that you should look out for in the people that you hang out with. That’s not to say that you should completely cut out people who do not possess these characteristics, but rather, limit your interactions with them if they are not beneficial–or even detrimental–to your growth.

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Live Free; Disconnecting From The World And Taking Charge Of Your Life

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“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.”

One of the most memorable quotes from Fight Club.

Just yesterday I was out and I stupidly misplaced my phone. The person who found it turned it off. If you could see my face the moment I realized it was gone, it would be one for the ages. I dropped everything I was doing and I dashed back to where I last remembered holding it–running through traffic, risking my life and almost getting knocked down by a car. It was one of the most harrowing experiences ever.

Everything was in my phone: my pictures, my social media accounts, my identity. My. Entire. Life. I spent the next hour trying to search for it in vain before giving up.

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Blasting Through Bad Days; Importance Of Introspection

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As in all things in life, everyone will have bad days. Most of the time we can’t pinpoint the exact cause thereof. The causes of bad days may vary from poor sleep, poor performance in other areas of life, or even putting junk food in your body. The perception many people hold is that everyone is consistent all the time. They see successful people and they think they these guys never have a bad day, that they consistent produce results all day,  every day.

This couldn’t be further from the truth.

The problem with this mindset is that they usually compare themselves to these guys and focus on their own lack of consistency. They think that they haven’t reached “the level they want to be” purely based on an impossible idealization.

The reality of life is: everyone has their bad days. It may last from a few hours to even months. You have to accept that life is uncaring and that things will not always go the way you want them to go.

However, it doesn’t mean that you have to sit back and just ride it out–waiting for it to end. More often than not, these bad days are self-generated and reinforced by yourself. Objectively, there are no bad days; your perception of it only makes it so.

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The Limits Of Pre-selection; Being The Selector

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There is a confusing concept in the community called pre-selection which states that women will want you more if she can sense that other women want you as well. While this theory has its merits, it can be confusing when applied wrongly. The misconception results in guys surrounding them with many female friends hoping that it will make them more attractive. But this often is not the case. Pre-selection works only in specific contexts under very specific conditions; it has to go hand-in-hand with sex-worthiness.

The Fine Line

Making female friends is not really that hard, contrary to popular belief. All you have to do is come across as relatively benign and unthreatening. As long as you remain sexually passive, they will see you more like a “brother”. Even if you think you are flirting with them, they will not register your come-ons because they don’t see you as a potential mate in the first place. And when you try to push things further even the slightest towards a romantic direction, they will remind you that “you are a good friend” and “like things the way you are”.

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A Life Of Happiness, Part 2: The Freedom Exigency

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A month ago I wrote on the first cornerstone of happiness. If you haven’t read that, do start with that first. Also I’ve been drafting and releasing a bunch of articles over the past few days (unlike most months) mainly because I’ve had more time to go out and start approaching again. The largely positive response is one of the reasons why I keep writing; it motivates me that I can bring value to you guys. Of course, I would like to hear from you in return–any questions or comments you may have, do leave them in the comments section below or contact me through the contact page in the navigation bar.

Back to the topic: freedom.

One of the core desires of men is to achieve freedom. Historically, our forefathers have journeyed beyond boundaries–both literally and metaphorically. Men built ships to traverse watery terrain that was uncharted by those before them. Men built planes as a giant fuck you to the laws of physics. Men invent new ideas and perspectives to see the world–expanding our minds and not just our geography. To surpass that which limits us is our true calling. And to fulfill our calling is to create a life of happiness.

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In Defense Of Singlehood: Avoid The Relationship Trap In Your Twenties

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One of the main draws of learning game for most guys is the appeal of getting a girlfriend. Over the years, every time I meet a newbie and ask him what his goal is in pick-up, I can almost always expect him to say: to get a girlfriend. That’s not to say that game is solely for losers. Everyone comes in with different expectations–but what remains the same is that each of these guys realize that they have a problem, and they want to fix it. I’ve met an equal number of (if not more) delusional guys than those who are honest with themselves, and the main reason why they don’t want to get into game is because they don’t want to be a player.

It’s just another excuse to not take action. Game is skill set; how you apply it is entirely up to you. That being said, few guys are like me who end their relationships and embark on the journey. But we are all alike in the sense that we want to improve our current situation.

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